You Don't Belong Here (Hate Letter)

The following is a letter sent to me by one of the members of my parish... maybe this can teach us something about hatred?


Gook Preacher,

I hate you. I HATE you. I hate hate HATE HATE HATE you. You’re Asian. You’re a priest. You wear those glasses. You talk American. You think you’re hip. You say LOL out loud. Did I mention you’re Asian?

You don’t belong here- not in Texas or the USA. This is OUR land. We love our country and our God and our cattle- not slanty-eyed Japanee. Rice is for weddings. Are you a gremlin? Why doesn’t the Bible burn in your hands? Who made you God’s mouthpiece?
 
On top of my general objections, I find you personally offensive. You smell like dim-sum. You don’t use fabric softener. Your hair has flakes- Asian flakes that fall on your black shirt and build into piles. Your sermons are incoherent. Your accent is terrible- during mass one week you kept pronouncing the word “election” as “erection.” You’re slow. You walk funny. You genuinely like children.
 
Please leave the church and bring Father Dunning back. He might have been a throbbing alcoholic but he was an American Alcoholic. I’m asking you politely to die, because if you don't I will shoot you dead.

Sincerely,
Jed Lippincott
84 Pecos Street
Beaumont, TX 77702

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